Mixed Emotions

So I have really mixed emotions about this whole baby thing and have for a long time- I wonder if others are the same?

I am SO excited for her to be here… and can’t wait another whole 4 months!! I want to know what she will look like, who she will take after… her traits in personality, etc. I just want to meet her.

The other part of me is still being selfish- dreading the lack of sleep… the pain (physical and emotional) of breastfeeding, etc. Part of me just wants it to be me and Danny and the puppies forever… because I know of nothing else- I think it is fear of the future/change honestly. Plus the waiting for it to happen is a little brutal- like you know it’s coming ultimately… you just have to sit and wait…. I know this sounds horrible selfish of me- but it’s just the emotions I’m feeling right now.

Ultimately, I am hoping everyone is right- once the new baby comes into your life- yes it’s hard- but so worth it, and you can’t ever imagine your life without them ever again. And it’s so worth it that most people do it again and again haha.

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6 thoughts on “Mixed Emotions

  1. I think every pregnant woman feels that way a little bit. I’ve seen you mention breastfeeding hurting a couple times, and from everything I’ve read and learning in the breastfeeding class we took, it shouldn’t hurt unless you’re doing it wrong. I highly recommend the breastfeeding class, I feel so much more confident about it since we took the class.

    1. Thanks- yes I’ve heard that too that if you aren’t doing it right it will hurt- but I also hurt it just hurts the first few weeks- just getting used to it… and takes a lot of time feeding on demand… but whatever is best for the baby I will do

  2. I loved breastfeeding! Sadly, I didn’t get to do it very long.. I lost my supply from stress (not 100% baby related- Gary left for Germany 6 days after I had her). I promise, you will adjust and it’s hard to believe that, but you won’t remember life before her. I can’t even describe my feelings of Norah.. I actually think they are a bit intense.. lol I never leave her. I’ve left a handful of times from surgeries and when I work a few hours a month. During those times, I just feel incomplete. You will be an awesome momma and she will be a perfect little baby 🙂

    1. Awe thanks Gena! 🙂 Yeah my concern is that I HAVE to return to work full time after 12 weeks… soooo not sure how that will, but I have to due to money reasons… which sucks 😦 But thanks for the confidence boost! MY mind just gets going especially with this whole waiting game- I hate suprises and I HATE waiting for anything in life… soooo this is one of those things lol

  3. Aw, Chrissy, your feelings/emotions are natural. Your life is about to change, and you can’t yet understand what it will be like. No matter how many babies you’ve held or babysat for, there are no words to describe for you the joy you will feel when you hold your own baby and as you watch her grow over the years. Your heart will absolutely burst with joy one day when those little arms go around your neck and you hear “I love you, Mommy.” You are not giving up anything. You are adding more love to your life – a living, breathing symbol of the love and commitment you and Danny share. It will bring you closer together at a whole other level as you parent this child together and share the joys and worries that go along with that. True, you will no longer have the freedom to take off on a moment’s notice without having to consider if you can take the baby or find a sitter. It’s a small price to pay, and you really won’t mind paying it once she gets here. Your life changed when you got married vs. being single and that worked out fine, didn’t it?

    As for pain and lack of sleep – yes, these are part of the package. I didn’t even take any pain med for Steven’s birth, and wondered what all the stuff I’d seen on TV was all about with women screaming and sweating and such. Drama looks good on TV, you know. Don’t let it scare you. With an epidural, you wouldn’t even have to feel any pain. You also don’t have to breastfeed. Babies do just fine with formula, so if that doesn’t work out for you then switch and don’t feel guilty. This is all part of the unknown that is stirring the feelings you have, but you will answer the questions when they arise and you find what works for you. You will know the answers when the time is right.

    When you are up late at night instead of sleeping, treasure those quiet moments and remember that they will be gone all too soon. You can sleep in the years to come, but you won’t have your baby cuddled up on your chest for very long. It doesn’t last long. Danny will help you so you can sleep when you absolutely need to. I bet even your mother would come over and take care of the night time feedings now and then so you can sleep if you really needed her to. It will work out. It has for millions of women for thousands of years!! Just trust that all the wonderful things you’ve heard from everyone else is true. They are. I promise!

    1. Thanks!! “When you are up late at night instead of sleeping, treasure those quiet moments and remember that they will be gone all too soon. You can sleep in the years to come, but you won’t have your baby cuddled up on your chest for very long. It doesn’t last long.”

      I love that advice ! I am planning on doing the breastfeeding thing because it is GREAT for the baby and good for me to lose weight also… just hoping I catch on (and the baby catches on) easily… I plan on taking a course at least

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